Welcome to my car archive (carchive)
please, enjoy this brief history of the cars I've owned.
I've driven more than what appears here, but not for any significant amount of time.
page created for my own amusement
1998 Ford Escort ZX2
Rating:2/5
nickname: racescort
TIME DRIVEN: 2011 - 2015
TOTAL ACCIDENTS: 2
TOTAL TOWS: 3-4
FURTHEST DISTANCE FROM HOME: roughly 250 miles
PLOT SIGNIFICANCE: high, first car, lots of adventures and learning lessons
This car handled like a go-kart, as far as cars go. Small, cheap, probably cheaper than a good quality kart.
Made me feel like I was driving real fast, even when I wasn't. Shook on highways, shook in high winds,
shaking like you were in a space ship taking off into space. You'd think parts were going to start falling off.
It was pretty ugly, and it broke down a lot. Once some guy kicked the mirror off at a red light.
It also ended with a bright white hood after an incident. I did some ratchet things with this car.
I mean, this is the only vehicle I got all 4 wheels off the ground, while I was driving on the highway.
I once drove it between two houses and into a grassy commons area. It got stuck in the mud back there.
My friends and I tried to get it out, but eventually someone woke up and saw what was happening and
called the police. The officer asked me how I felt, and I said I felt pretty stupid.
He responded, "Well, you look it!" A tow truck arrived to pull me out, but the car was too far away from
the road for the line to reach, so the tow truck had to back up into the grassy commons. Then the
tow truck got stuck, so they had to call another tow truck to pull that tow truck out.
I had to pay for both tow trucks, and the grass. The speaker didn't work, so I put old computer speakers in
the car connected via aux to the radio and stuff them beneath the seats, and would drive in reverse in
circles to entertain my friends in parking lots while playing goofy music.
I have to give it 3/5 stars, because although it was a lot of fun,
and because it was also a pretty stupid car.
FATE: Engine burned up or something silly I did to it.
2001 Daewoo Lanos
Rating:0.5/5
Nickname: the marshmallow
TIME DRIVEN: A few months in 2015.
TOTAL ACCIDENTS: 0
TOTAL TOWS: 0
FURTHEST DISTANCE FROM HOME: roughly 250 miles
PLOT SIGNIFICANCE: very low
Worst car I've ever driven. ZERO technology, everything was extremely cheap.
It was very, very slow and hardly any parts available because the
company that built it ceased to exist by the time I purchased it.
It did not do donuts in the snow if I recall, unlike my zesty Ford Escort Zx2.
There seemed to be absolutely no torque, and everything that could be mechanical
was made to be mechanical (roll down windows.) Anything that was wired was apparently
not in the best condition as some sort of animal had gotten in and built a nest
which I think killed the blower motors. This thing was built like one of those toy
cars they make for toddlers to kick around in. I almost wonder if this car was
punishment/penalty for the way I treated and used my last car
FATE: Flood on my street practically killed it, thankfully.
I tried my best to clean the carpets to prevent mildew/mold, but this car just didn't want to go over 30
without overheating anymore. Sold it to some guy who wanted it for his wife, despite warning him
there was significant flood damage and it could barely drive a mile.
I don't think I ever saw it on the road again.
2003 Hyundai Sonata
Rating:3/5
nickname: none
TIME DRIVEN: 2015-2016.
TOTAL ACCIDENTS: 1
TOTAL TOWS: 2
FURTHEST DISTANCE FROM HOME: roughly 250 miles
PLOT SIGNIFICANCE: medium. really liked this car, but it mostly just went to and from college.
This car was great to drive. It was faster than the Escort and felt luxurious in comparison, especially after
driving the marshmallow. It came with tinted windows (picture is not of the actual car) and a moon roof,
and I added nice wheels and a bluetooth radio to it. Despite this car not looking at all respectable, I finally
felt like I was driving something respectable compared to my first two cars, which were essentially clown
cars. Of course, I drove like a clown in those cars, so I guess it was just right. The color was the same deep
blue which you see in the image above, a color which shone in the sun. It had a pretty decent suspension
compared to the crap that I'd been through with the other cars. I felt slick driving this car, even though
I knew deep down that I wasn't. I tried to keep the interior very clean and smelling fresh.
FATE: Rearended someone with it. I still feel bad about that.
2002 Chevy S10
Rating:4.5/5
nickname: penny
TIME DRIVEN: 2017-2021.
TOTAL ACCIDENTS: 0 (hit a deer tho)
TOTAL TOWS: 2
FURTHEST DISTANCE FROM HOME: roughly 620 miles
PLOT SIGNIFICANCE: HIGH, this truck was a main character
This truck was LEGENDARY! It smelt like wintergreen tobacco since the day that I bought it. Country music finally
made sense to me when I bought it. I slept for at least 6-7 weeks in the bed of this truck, once while I was travelling
around my state taking photographs of waterfalls, and once when I was hired to be overnight security on top
of some hill in rural Ohio for an event. This truck took a beating. I modded the throttlebody of this truck
so that it would intake more air all at once. This essentially just involved cutting off a curved metal piece
that modulated the introduction of the air to the engine as you pressed the accelerator so that air would be
smoothly introduced to the system. Apparently I didn't like my engine to work as it was designed, so I cut that
metal lip off and put it back to gether and boy did my truck pop off the line at green lights. Like every vehicle
I owned before me, I also treat this vehicle like a racecar, but because it was a pickup, I also treated it like
a dump truck, and would find any excuse to use the truck bed to move things. I once found a pineapple themed rocking
chair someone was throwing out, so I put that in the back, tied it down, and drove it to a coffee shop I used to hang
out at all day and night with a bunch of other delinquents/creative people. It was fun to sit in a rocking chair
in the back of my truck. This was, of course, before that tan bed cap was introduced onto the bed of my truck.
That arrived when I decided I was going to start sleeping in it on road trips. We tried to seal every crack with caulking
and it looked absolutely terrible. I heard more than one person make fun of it while I was inside. It was truly ugly!
So ugly, in fact, that I got a license plate that said "it ugly". The caulking didn't completely work, as I once
woke up with all my clothes and items soaked on the second night I was sleeping in it, so I had to locate the leak,
buy a tarp, and fix it in a parking lot 500 miles from home. Spent most of that day washing and drying my clothes
at a coin laundromat. This thing took a beating. I drove it up steep dirt roads in forests. One time I was driving
down a dirt road and a deer LEAPED out of the forest and tall greasses right in front of me. Thankfully, I braked just
in time to avoid hitting that deer. Phew, that was a close call, I watched as the deer ran off into the woods again,
and with my eyes still on the deer, I began to accelerate again when BAM, I hit a different deer that was following it.
My left front headlight never looked the same. Another time I was driving down the highway and smoke just began billowing out
from the hood. Over time the door hinge stopped working, often locking in place and refusing to latch, so I'd carry around
a screwdriver and some WD40 to make sure it would close, otherwise I would have to hold it close with my hand while I was driving.
Many a time, while I was turning right at an intersection, the door would just fly open in front of everyone.
This truck was so rusted out and so loud that people turned their heads around while I was driving because the sound that
came out of the messed up exhaust. Perchance the most fun I've ever had with a V6.
FATE: Another flood, caused hundreds of dollars in damage and wasn't worth fixing.
some s10 fanatic bought it off me because he really liked s10s
he also smelled like tobacco
2007 Ford F150
Rating:3/5
nickname: ARBYS
TIME DRIVEN: 2 months in 2021.
TOTAL ACCIDENTS: 0
TOTAL TOWS: 0
FURTHEST DISTANCE FROM HOME: roughly 225 miles
PLOT SIGNIFICANCE: low, altho higher than the marshmallow, because it was a cool gift
Driving this truck was the first time I ever felt like a real man.
It was given to me for free by my best friend. I was really excited to have this truck, but of course, it was a lemon.
Within an hour of driving it home, I went to pull on the lever that adjusts the steering wheel, and it fell off into my hand.
Then, I decided to take it through a car wash, and that's when I discovered the truck was not properly sealed from the elements.
It was like watching those fancy waterfall fixtures inside of a hotel lobby, except instead of water cascading over some beautiful
stone bricks and tiles, it was pouring down my window and all over my door panel and all over the seats, and it was soapy.
Ultimately, it had an unfortunate mechnical issue, the timing chain that was going bad in the engine, not easy nor affordable to repair,
would have cost thousands to repair, which wasn't worth investing into a 200k mile Ford, so that definitely knocked a star off my rating.
Incredibly fun to drive, but only kept it a couple months. Drove it around with a license plate that said ARBYS on the back, a tradition
that began with the S10 and was carried thru to the next vehicle, a '96 Exploder.
FATE: No idea, I traded it for my next vehicle
1996 Ford Explorer
Rating:3.5/5
nickname: none
TIME DRIVEN: 2021-2023
TOTAL ACCIDENTS: 0
TOTAL TOWS: 2
FURTHEST DISTANCE FROM HOME: roughly 600 miles
PLOT SIGNIFICANCE: high, significant story archs centered around this vehicle
This vehicle was okay. I drove it around for a month and slept in the back of it. I tore the seats and the carpetting out of the back, and
my carpenter buddy helped me build an insulated wood interior, with a desk and sink, to sleep in this thing while I was travelling.
It was definitely liveable! I spent about a month sleeping in the back in cold temperatures, and I was pretty cozy. Felt like home.
Got to roll the moon roof back while the heat was blasted in northern Michigan and watch the stars while laying in my bed in
late October. Had a lot of great memories with this SUV, also had a lot of bad memories. No diea how many miles it had on it, because the
odometer was broken. For some reason, it still never felt like my car. I never grew attached to it. Was also pretty boring to look
at and drive. Lacked character like most FORDs do. That's right, I said it, even if the F150 and the ZX2 were Fords, they still had what
I consider to be the styling of a bar of soap. Curves in all the wrong places. I want my suvs and trucks to have the shape of meat tenderizer,
not a rubber duck. That said, it was very comfy and I lived out a small teenage dream of mine in this SUV. But wasn't upset to get rid of
it when the time came.
FATE: eventually the massive pot holes in our roads DESTROYED the suspension. sold for $400 to a junk yard because the cost of repairs for suspension exceeded the amount of money i paid for the car
1991 Honda Nighthawk 750
Rating:5/5
nickname: my baby (jk) NONE
TIME DRIVEN: a couple months in 2024
TOTAL ACCIDENTS: 0
TOTAL TOWS: 1 (picked it up with trailer to bring her home)
FURTHEST DISTANCE FROM HOME: roughly 20 miles
PLOT SIGNIFICANCE: medium, tho felt high cause I LOVED IT and felt like all my driving history had led up to this point, it ultimately turned out to be a side-quest that allowed me to prove i was capable of getting my motorcycle license and riding a motorcycle and riding it well
not a car, but...
riding this motorcycle was the second time in my life that I felt like a real man
by far, my favorite vehicle I've ever owned, absolutely thrilling, incredibly easy to handle, and yet incredibly powerful
felt like flying, felt like meditation
felt like I was in the movies, or in an anime. I drove 1,000 miles in one month on this guy (which is more impressive given I never went more than 20 miles from home)
bought it on impulse always wanted a motorcycle and thought this would be good on gas
maybe impulse is the wrong word, I'd been looking for a bike for months, but I saw this online and immediately wanted to pick it up
it is exactly how i want a motorcycle to look
my boss was a G (a REAL ONE) and used his trailer to help me buy this before I even had a license to ride.
many stories from just a couple months of riding. glad to have gotten my motorcycle license and the experience.
once road it to work and got caught in very heavy rain. i did not know you could ride motorcycle in rain
that was the day I understood how truly cold the rain can be
almost ran over two chickens. almost ran into a deer.
0-60 in under 4 seconds
headphones in
massive summer clouds
backpack and coffee shops
people walking up to ask you about your bike
I wish I could go back to summer 2024
FATE: I was talking to some girl for like 8 months and she really wanted to meet me, so I decided to sell this to help save up to meet her. A week after I sold it, she said she didn't think she could wait any longer and cut off contact with me. Lesson learned.. do NOT SELL MOTORCYCLE FOR PERSON U NEVA MET
Exmark Mower
Rating:3.5/5
nickname: mr krabs (i jsut made that up just now because it looks like a crab and earns money)
TIME DRIVEN: 2024-2026
TOTAL ACCIDENTS: 1
FURTHEST DISTANCE FROM HOME: roughly 15 miles
TOTAL TOWS: infinite (constantly towed in trailer behind boss)
PLOT SIGNIFICANCE: medium-low, just work vehicle. more significant than that stupid marshmallow car
okay, also not a car, and I don't even own it, and technically it showed up a little bit before the motorcycle did, but I have to ride this at work all the time
I really enjoy this vehicle, I have mowed a lot of lawns in this vehicle, it's very nice to operate and you feel like a real professional blue collar guy flying down the side of the road
while drivers turn their heads to look. this is the first commercial vehicle I've driven, and it has big sharp blades on it. it very loud and has a cup holder and hydraulic brakes and turns
sharper than anything I've driven before. probably why it's called a zero turn. closest thing I've operated to a mech suit. what's not to love.
FATE: it's still around