why chat is closed
ramble alert, I'mma be ramblin', somewhat about why the chat is closed right now, somewhat reflecting on this past week, this is not organized writing:
tl;dr not sure how to run it and i'm really busy, read on for clarification:
First and foremost, if anyone is reading this .. *mic-check 1-2-3* .. I want to thank you for all of your kind comments and for checking this place out! That last video blew up.. honestly I don't even know what to think about my channel. I started my channel on Jan 17th, mostly because I was refurbishing Thinkpads and felt I might as well create videos while I do this, and one video about bypassing a bios lock blew up, and I found myself with 2,300 subscribers (?!?) as well as a healthy dose of criticisms about various things (my voice, the audio, how fast/slow the video was, my tech literacy or lack thereof, etc..) I recovered from that surprise, learned some lessons, and then a couple weeks later, a web revival video I made (which absolutely has its flaws and definitely isn't perfect) blew up x5, and now there are 14,000 subscribers (?!?) I don't even know how that happens? Of course, with exposure comes criticism, and given that I'm very much an amateur, there has been plenty to criticise - a couple hundred comments worth of criticisms and a little bit of negativity. Some of it 100% valid, some of it a little sharp, and some of it just felt like straight up bashing. That's fine, that's the Internet, I'm just not used to reading 100s of those in a row. Thankfully it is outweighed by the thousands of genuine, kind responses from the community, which made it all worth it. I can't believe how many people have responded so well and it has warmed my heart so much, it really does keep me going, even if I don't know how to respond to it all the time, thank you!! In addition, I kind of feel like I'm leveling up, not in terms of views or likes or whatever, but just feeling a little stronger, a little more resilient. I feel my skin thickening and it's kinda cool.
I have to underline and emphasize this: there are so - many - cool people on the Internet, like I've met so many of you and you are such cool people. I really like you guys. Yes, the Internet has its toxic moments, it's not utopia, not everyone gets along all the time, no one is perfect and I'm included, but it has been such a pleasure to get to know many of you with my limited amount of time. Thank you for coming here, thank you for being creative, thank you for sharing all sorts of ideas and conversations and making friends and making projects, if this place is anything at all it's because of all of you who interact with it. I hope you all find plenty of ways to stay in touch and build community in unlikely but beautiful pockets of cyberspace.
I am definitely learning lessons, and my hope only is that my shoulders continue to grow ever broader in order to carry any further challenges that may lay ahead. I'm swallowing some tough pills, some timeless classics such as A.) it's okay if some people don't like me, and B.) you can't please everyone. Better now than never.
Why the chat is closed right now:
There are a few reasons the chat is closed right now. I'm trying to figure out how to juggle the chat on my website with all the other things I have going on in my spare time (not that I expect anyone to stick around, but in case they do stick around, as I like the company!) I pitched my web revival narrative from a bit of an unfortunate slant, and spent a lot of time in that video focusing on my page when I should've been focusing on resources and other websites. This has had the unintended effect of having my website serve as a sort of front door to the 'web revival' for a decently sized audience, which is not what it's meant to be. A handful of people thought it was an ad for my site, which in retrospect I understand, but it really wasn't intended so much as that either - I wanted to invite the viewer into my perspective and give an example of what you can do, and my perspective is that I really, really like working on my website and I really like the interactions I've had with the friends I've made here, and this enjoyment has multiplied since I've met so many of you! It is legitimately a hobby, and one I've spent hundreds of hours on, not just building but exploring and talking. This video was originally made in response to a commenter on a ThinkPad video asking more about the indie web, and what I didn't intend was for the amount of exposure it received. I really thought this video might get 10,000 - 20,000 views at most, and I wasn't going to be upset or surprised if it only received a few thousand views. I certainly was not expecting 50,000.. let alone 500,000 views and climbing, which just feels astronomical to someone like me. I don't know how to register that kind of attention in the course of one week.
As a result of all that exposure, I feel somewhat a sense of responsibility that I was not prepared to handle. With people using my small chat site as a front door, the chat has been at times chaotic, and occasionally a troll will post something that should not be seen all audiences. This is not the best onboarding experience for newcomers with positive and hopeful feelings. I want to keep the front chat as calm and welcoming to as wide an audience as possible, while also being able to facilitate more interesting conversation that might not be completely relevant to the indie web in other rooms, if that's at all possible, but I'm not sure how to organize that. I also have noticed that keeping the chat open all day has not just been distracting for me, but seems to be addictive for some people, which I understand, as the constant activity can be hypnotizing and you don't want to miss whatever comes next! It's a new and exciting experience for many people, but it could potentially be unhealthy if it's all anyone thinks about or pays attention to all day. This, along with a sense of responsibility I feel for what people see on here, and I've found myself unable to keep my eyes away from the chat for long periods of time, and this has been stressful, not least because I have many other things to attend to right now.
I'm not completely sure how to handle or operate this, but I think it will eventually need opening and closing hours. I'm considering keeping it open only during the weekends, or if I open it every day, only an hour or two per day. Or maybe 2 hour sessions on opposite sides of the clock. Noon to 2, 10 to midnight, something like that.
I'm sure this is not all I have to say about all of this, but it's all I have time to write. Thank you all, I hope you're all doing well! If you find any other cool communities, keep me looped in! I far more want to be a participant than to be a leader.